Yearly Conclusions about James Potter
by moonlight-pixy
Summary: LJ: Lily is so annoyed at James she decides to write Yearly Conclusions about him, in order to get rid of her anger. One chapter for each conclusion. Rated for very slight language and just to be safe. R&R?
1. First Year

**Hey!**

**well i've published this story before, but it was too long so I'm republishing it in Chapters!**

**Enjoy and R&R?**

**pixy**

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Yearly Conclusions about James Potter

**First Year:**

This is how far it's come. It's ridiculous, really. It's sad and depressing, that I feel the need to write a yearly conclusion about James Potter. Conclusions about that scrawny little boy with jet black hair, hazel eyes and round glasses. I think that I think that this will help me get rid of some of the anger I'm feeling towards him. I just finished my first year at Hogwarts and already I could write a book _The Annoyances of James Potter_. It would be an instant best seller. On second thought, no it wouldn't be. Everyone else seems to think that he is the new Superman (if they knew who Superman was).

What is his (Potter's not Superman's) problem? I never did _anything_ to him. He was the one who started pulling my hair, stealing my bag and sitting next to me at breakfast for no reason. Alice says it's because he fancies me, which is so NOT true. I would probably throw myself of the Astronomy tower if it ever came to that.

The first time I met him was in the Hogwarts Express at the start of the year. Severus and I were stupid enough to sit in Potter's compartment. Of course, at that stage I had no idea who or rather _what _he was. Him and Black were sitting there discussing what house they would like to get in. Sev got involved in their conversation and they started to tease him. That's when I first felt that I would not like Potter. I decided it was time to find a new compartment.

As we were leaving the compartment I could feel Potter staring at me. Then at the great Feast he sat next to me, and he continued to look at me. Whenever I turned faced him and caught him staring, he just gave me one his lop sided grin and went back to devouring his food and talking to Black.

Over the next few weeks I could feel him staring at me practically everywhere I went. Even when he wasn't around I got the feeling that he was watching me. Finally I lost my temper and yelled at him in front of the whole class. But instead of being embarrassed like any other normal person would have been, he just grinned at me and went back to _pretending_ to do his work.

As if that weren't enough he started to pull my hair. Whenever he saw me, he grabbed my hair and gave it a little tug. It didn't hurt, but it annoyed the hell out of me. I loved my long hair, but I was so sick of him pulling it, I cut it of and wore it tied up. It didn't take him long to come up with a new plan: He started with the pranks. Him, Black, Pettigrew and to some small extent Remus had been pulling pranks on everyone and everything right since the word get go, but they had always left me alone. I suspect that it had something to do with the fact that I was friendly with Remus who was one of their best friends. I never understood why Remus decided to befriend those two. He's the complete opposite to them. He's quiet, polite and smart and should know better than to hang around with gits like Potter and Black. I don't understand how he fits in with them, seeing as he always _tries_ to keep the trouble they create to the bare minimum. His attempts fail. In their first year alone Black, Potter and Pettigrew (who is their little side kick. I know it sounds mean, but he's not terribly bright and does whatever Potter and Black tell him to do) got more detentions then the rest of Gryffindor House put together. Black, Potter, Pettigrew and Remus call themselves the Marauders and are proud to admit (except Remus who at least seems a bit ashamed when he gets a detention) that in their first year alone, they have broken the detention record that has been standing for hundreds of years. Oddly enough, people still like them. It's because everyone thinks that the Marauders are charming. They're well liked in our year. Even some older students say hi to them in the corridors.

So they started pulling pranks on me. Anything and everything. They died my uniform pink and smuggled fake wands into my bad, which would squeak loudly when I tried to perform magic. Oh how I hated them. I still do, in fact.

So my yearly conclusion on James Potter: He is an IDIOT!!

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**pixy**


	2. Second Year

**Hey guys!!  
thank you so much for your great reviews! It really means a lot.**

**Sorry I haven't updated in so long, but I had to finish my other story so that I can now focus on this one.**

**If you have any suggestions/critisims let me know. I won't be offended, I'll appreciate your feedback :)  
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**So here it is!**

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**P.S. I'll probably be putting up a chapter a day/ a chapter every two days.**

**P.P.S. Everything belongs to the great, the fabolous, the magnificant J.K.**

**P.P.P.S. I know this chapter is short, but bare with me ;D**

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**Second Year:**

This year wasn't much different to last year. Potter continued to make my life living hell. He wasn't pulling my hair anymore (which grew back to its original length), but whenever he saw me he had some stupid comment to make. He winked at me in the corridors and gave me his stupid lop-sided grin (which had become his trade mark). I thought things couldn't get worse… until he made the Quidditch team. He was prancing around the school, telling everyone and anyone that he had been made Gryffindor Seeker. Astoundingly, a lot of people seemed delighted by this news. They clapped him on the back and congratulated him. Potter became more popular than ever. He was convinced that he's the greatest guy in the world, flying around on his stupid broom catching that stupid snitch. The sad thing is, that even though I would never admit it to his face and it pains me to put it on paper, that he is actually a good Quidditch player. In the game against Hufflepuff he caught the snitch in less than ten minutes and we won the Quidditch cup this year. For the first time in over ten years. He was the Gryffindor hero. Professor McGonagall smiled at him._ She,_ the teacher who hardly ever smiles,smiled at _him_. _Potter _gets smiled at, just for winning the Quidditch cup, while I have to work hard to get one inzy winzy twitch of the lips.

The biggest shock came when girls started to notice him. I heard them talking on the toilets about how cute he is. They liked his "golden brown eyes" and his messy hair (which he has started messing up even more, by running his right hand through his hair just so that it looks like he just jumped of a broom). To their great disappointment Potter did not asked any one of them out. His friend Black on the other hand was quite the ladies man, seen with a new girl on his arm every week.

The thing that annoyed me most was that Potter bet me in the Transfiguration Exam this year. He got 120 I only got 110. We tied in DADA. _I_ think he cheated. He never listened in class and hardly ever did his homework. He must have somehow managed to bribe the teachers into giving him good marks. On the other hand, I can't imagine McGonagall to be one that is easily bribed.

So my yearly conclusion about James Potter: He is an _arrogant _G-I-T!!


	3. Third Year

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**well here it is, Chapter three!**

**thank you so much for the lovely reviews I've been getting, and i'm really glad that people seem to enjoy it!**

**I just want to say a huge thanks to crushed-lilyflower for beating this for me. Her editing added a lot more life to this chapter.**

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Third Year:

He started asking me out! I still can't believe it. My worst nightmare came true. In fact, it is such a horrific thing that I've never even _had_ a nightmare so terrible! I did try to throw myself off the astronomy tower, I kid you not, but Alice pulled me back down from the ledge just in time.

During the first week back at school, a note was posted in the common room to say that a Hogsmeade weekend was coming up. Alice and I exchanged grins, and I started to wonder who I would go with. It was something to look forward to. Then, the following morning Potter sat next to me at breakfast and asked me if I wanted to go with him. I was completely and utterly stunned into silence. As soon as my voice returned I said 'no' without a second thought. I tried to do so as kindly as possible as contrary to popular opinion I am not a monster, and Potter must have a heart somewhere deep down. _Very_ deep down. He looked slightly hurt, and extremely surprised at what I said, but regained his composure quickly. Lopsided grin plastered over his face moments later, he made an arrogant retort; "Oh, Evans, you can't fight fate. Especially when fate has brought you someone as roguishly handsome and witty as me!" I tried tremendously hard not to cringe. Later on that day I heard Black comforting Potter; telling him that at least I thought about it for a few seconds (which of course I did not, I was in shock!), and that it was a "good start" and that he should not be discouraged by my "momentary lapse of judgment". How delusional is that? The next day Potter sat next to me (again) and asked me out _again! _I, of course, rejected him _again_. The same scenario reoccurred the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that and the day after that… well, you get the picture. I can't believe he was stupid and conceited enough not to accept my answer for what it was. He kept telling me that _I_ should stop being stupid, as we all knew that _I_ was madly in love with _him_. Yeah, right! He obviously didn't get enough sleep that week, and was still walking around school in a dream. I tried to convey the message in every possible way; but he just wouldn't listen! He just would not give up! The girls in my year started throwing me dirty looks on the way to class and I walked in on groups of friends gossiping about me countless times, hushed conversations suddenly coming to a halt whenever I was in the vicinity. They were sure that I liked Potter and that I was just playing hard to get. What a load of crap! It just shows that people will say anything, so long as they have someone to talk about. I tried to reason with them time and _time_ again, insisting that I did not like Potter, that he was the spawn of Satan, and that I detested him with a fiery passion. But of course they didn't believe me; or didn't _want _to believe me. They said that everyone liked Potter. That I should just take a look at him. That there was no way I could resist the way that his hair (which still looks like a haystack to me) fell over his eyes, which are a gorgeous golden brown, apparently, or the way that his (non existent) muscles flexed when he played Quidditch. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I nearly vomited.

The day before Hogsmeade (after asking _me_ out twelve times), Potter asked Emmeline Vance to go to Hogsmeade with him. She said yes, of course. She didn't/couldn't stop giggling and whispering excitably to my dorm mates that night, and I had a very hard time sleeping. Only because she was being so loud; it had nothing to do with the fact that she was going on a date with Potter.

I ended up going to Hogsmeade with Sev, as Alice had a date with Frank Longbottom, now officially her boyfriend. The day was not as enjoyable as I'd been hoping. Sev kept verbally abusing Potter; it was an afternoon filled with a constant string of complaints about him. At first I agreed with Sev, and happily went along with the conversation as I had my share to add to the topic. After three hours, though, I got slightly sick of talking about him non-stop and suggested that we should get back to the castle. It wasn't as if I didn't get enough of Potter during every other day. Just as we arrived in the entrance hall we saw Potter standing there, virtually sucking off Emmeline's face. I stood stock still in shock, so revolted that I actually physically gagged. When they eventually sensed our presence, Potter and Emmeline broke apart. Emmeline shot me a rather nasty and gloating look over Potter's shoulder while Sev swore at Potter as we were walking away. Unfortunately we weren't far enough away for the swearing to go unheard. Potter called Sev "Snivellus" which of course provoked him into spinning around angrily and trying to hex him. Potter was faster, and actually jinxed Sev's hair to wrap around his neck in attempts to _throttle_ him. I was frozen to the spot, horrified and appalled. I'm sure the hair would have achieved its goal, had Professor McGonagall not walked in at the right moment and given both boys a detention. Lucky for me too, as I had been fumbling with my wand and wondering which jinx would hurt Potter the most; and McGonagall's premature entrance spared me any punishment.

The little duels between Potter and Sev continued for the rest of the year, and soon Black got involved as well. Sev started racking up just as many detentions as the Marauders. I kept telling him to ignore them, but it seemed an impossible task for him. He succumbed to their provocation every time; and the Marauders _always_ came out on top.

Potter broke up with Emmeline one week after we had witnessed the mentally disturbing snogging. I felt relieved somehow, which I assume is something to do with the way I started to feel my breakfast come up every time I saw them together. I'm not sure why it had this effect on me…I suppose because Potter just generally disgusts me. But since then he had about six different girlfriends, none of them lasting longer then a fortnight. And I soon became used to seeing Potter with a girl on his arm every day of the week. He still kept asking me out throughout the year (a total of three hundred and thirty three times, not including the times he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him at the start of the year), which only made Sev angrier. I can't understand why, though. I've told Sev a hundred times that I don't like Potter and that there was no chance in hell that I would go out with him. I tried to explain that I wished more than anything that he would leave me alone, and that it infuriated me that the only reason he paid me so much attention was because he couldn't have me. I told him time and time again that Potter only liked the chase, and that I hated him for it. I don't think Sev believed me because he slowly started to spend less time with me and started hanging around with other people in our year. People like Mulciber and Avery. I couldn't believe it at first. How could I? They were worlds apart from Severus, who was kind and thoughtful and intelligent. I can still remember what they did to Mary MacDonald. I talked to Sev about it, but he just shrugged me off and avoided the question. He tried to steer the conversation towards Remus, who he was sure to be a _werewolf_. He was constantly trying to catch the Marauders in the act of plotting to help Lupin somehow. What nonsense! Remus, a werewolf?! And if Potter or Black were thinking of any other human than themselves then I'm a hippogriff. They wouldn't have the brains for that kind of a situation, anyway. Even if they did I don't think there's a way to help a werewolf; the condition is for life. I should go and check that out in the library. I'm not sure what goes on in Sev's head sometimes. He has one hell of an imagination.

So conclusion of the year about Potter: He is an arrogant, bullying player (who won't accept no for an answer). People are starting to say that some day I will give in and that Potter and I will ride off into the sunset together. Fat chance! I hate horses.

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	4. Fourth Year

**Hey guys!**

**Here is the next chapter and once again I need to thank crushed-lilyflower. You should thank her, also. Another 200 words were added because of her.**

**well i hope you guys enjoy it! Please review and tell me what you think. Critisism is welcome!!**

**luv**

**pixy****Fourth Year:**

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Well, what can I say? The good times just kept on coming. He asked me out another two hundred and seventy-two times this year. Not that I've been keeping count. It's Alice; she kept a tally in the back of her charms textbook. She says it's all incredibly romantic. I say otherwise.

I went out with other boys for a while, hoping it might stop him pursuing me. Obviously, I clearly didn't achieve the latter…but the guys I dated served as pleasant distraction, and though none of them lasted too long they meant a lot to me and we stayed good friends. They treated me as Lily; they saw me as a person…not a trophy for the cabinet. Even though Potter's had another eight girlfriends this year, (not that I've particularly been paying attention, but gossip spreads like wildfire around here and I've had the information drilled into my skull on various occasions), his favourite extra curricular activity has been to ask me out. And after due consideration, I've finally figured out why. It's just the thrill of the chase. He doesn't actually like _me._ He's not actually interested in _me._ It's the fact that he can't seem to process the word 'no'. It's clear that the boy has never been denied anything in his life. On any rare occasion where he mentions his family, it's easy to ascertain that his parents lovingly dote on their only child with any and all means available to them. Casual references to "my wing of the house", or "my _first_ broomstick", are frequently slipped into conversations with full-throated ease. And so he became accustomed to being treated like a Prince; he came to expect it from everyone he met. And then Lily Evans walked into his life four years ago, with her fiery temper and the will to speak her mind; and he was caught. He wasn't caught by me: he was thrilled by the challenge of getting me. He wanted to win the trophy for the cabinet back home. It hurt. It _still _hurts. And not because it's Potter: it's just the fact that I'm seen for something that makes me different rather than for the person that I really am. He's a two-dimensional arrogant toe-rag. It surprises me that no one else can see that. A few stunts on the quidditch pitch, perhaps followed by a cheesy one-liner, and they're all fooled.

He's still easily the most popular guy in our year; possibly in the entire school. I've even heard that some older girls are interested in him, just because he brought the bloody Quidditch cup home. There are six other members of the team, but they might as well leave Potter to play the entire side alone for all the 'thanks' they get. The other players are more likely to be pushed aside to make room for _his Royal Highness_ than to be congratulated after winning a match. He's some kind of an eye magnet to all those around him. Every boy wants to _be_ him, and every girl wants to date him. It's ridiculous: I don't understand what they can all see that I don't.

Potter, Black and Sev never learnt from their mistakes. They continued duelling, Black and Potter continually prodding at Sev's self esteem until he eventually lost his temper and retaliated. And then there were the pranks. Potter took picking on Sev to a whole new level; he began to publicly humiliate him, tormenting him in front of huge crowds, at every opportunity. If I thought Sev hated him before, it's nothing to how he feels about him now. He feels pure, unadulterated _hatred _forhim. I don't just mean the flippant word I use against Potter (having seen that look in Sev's eyes, I've thought about it a lot myself and been forced to accept that I don't actually_ hate_ Potter. I just really, really, really, _really _dislike him.) But he truly _hates _him; and at times I'm almost certain that if it ever came down to it, Severus wouldn't hesitate to deliver the fateful blow. I sometimes wonder whether he would get off on it. It scares me. It drove a wedge between us; I've never hated anyone in the way that he hates Potter. I don't even know if I'm capable of it. He's been hanging around with people who are rumoured to be Death Eaters. It makes me ache: once the friend who sat with me under the glorious tree canopy in the woods at home, and told me tales of the magical world to which I really belonged, now twisted and warped by his own jealousy…into choosing _them_ over me. And I can't seem to reach him, or talk any sort of sense into him. I'm worried sick that he might follow the footsteps of his new "friends"…and one day have the mark burned over his skin, just like them. My best friend is a shadow to me now. And I know that a large part of that is Potter's fault.

Potter got under my skin this year. He gradually took my best friend away from me. After some time I found it impossible to restrain my pent up anger with him any longer: and I started to retaliate. They were just weak hexes. I used them on Potter, as a form on 'non-verbal reprisal', if you like. I never did anything remotely dangerous; nowhere near the type of magic Sev, Black and Potter used on each other. (Occasionally, after one of them really lost their temper, another ended up spending several days in the hospital wing…and docked their house about a hundred points). I just cast silly little charms; and watched with a certain degree of satisfaction as they creased up with uncontrollable laughter, or continued to trip over something non-existent for hours on end. Sometimes I cast non-reversible tickling spells on them (they wore off after about half a day, so no real harm done.) I've actually gotten into trouble several times this year for loosing my temper with Potter. _I _got into trouble because of _Potter._ This is a fact which seems to give Potter endless amounts of amusement. He also uses it as leverage to prove that we are "meant to be", telling me that I'm a "natural born troublemaker," which is apparently "an excellent quality in a woman." God, he's full of it. But then, every cloud has a silver lining and he _has_ stopped calling me 'goody-two-shoes', which is a bit of a relief.

He beat me in this year's Transfiguration exam…again. He got an 'O' effortlessly, where I'm still working my socks off only to stay stuck on a low 'E'. We tied in DADA, _again. _I couldn't believe it. For some inexplicable reason, it _really_ got to me. He doesn't study. _I_ spent ridiculously copious amounts of time in the library revising for Transfiguration; and the untalented snob _still _beats me. Before the exam he strutted over to me in the corridor, leaning 'casually' against the wall, and drawled;

"Go out with me?"

I didn't even bother to dignify the question with an answer. Unfazed, he chuckled and added; "Go out with me and I'll fail the test for you."

That's right. He offered to do badly in his exam in exchange for a date. How offensive is that? I'd never dare to admit this to anyone; but that was the first time I gave a spilt second's consideration over whether I should give in and say 'yes'. That was how desperate I was to beat him. There was no other reason to accept but for the sole pleasure of receiving a higher grade. Of course, moments later and common sense overcame pride and I laughed a hollow laugh, replied that he was pathetic, and that I didn't need for him to fail for me to get a higher grade (which simply wasn't true), and left him alone to find Alice and complain about his behaviour. Even if I had said 'yes', and he had done badly intentionally in his exam, it wouldn't have given me the satisfaction of beating him outright.

People started saying that I would eventually come to my senses soon and go out with Potter. I started hexing them, too. They act as if I'm mentally unsound for refusing him. They've clearly lost their minds; he's brainwashed the entire student body.

**So, conclusion of the year about Potter**: He's a shallow, self-serving prat, who bullies my friends and asks me out _way _too many times.

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	5. Fifth Year

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**this chapter is a bit longer than usual (once again a lot to do with crushed-lilyflower!! Thanks heaps, by the way!) and after this one, only two chapters to go!!  
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Fifth Year:

I hate Potter. I _detest _him. This is not a flippant word anymore. I really do. I've been told before that when things go wrong human nature is to find somewhere to place blame. But this time, it is actually _all _Potter's fault! If it hadn't been for his being a shallow, vile, cruel excuse for a human being, I would still have my best friend. I haven't even managed to absorb fully what's happened yet. All I know is that my friendship with Severus is over. Sev, my friend who rescued me from my parents and told me who I really was, who and appreciated me and made me feel special. We told each other everything. We were the very bestoffriends. At one stage we were far closer than Alice and I are. And now, all the memories are just that: memories. There's no way to re-live them, no way for me to let him atone for what he did…

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**(3 weeks ago)**  
With the relief of finishing our Defence against the Dark Arts O.W.L, Alice and I decided on relaxing out by the lake, enjoying the great weather and the limited freedom until the next exam. The only flaw in the plan was that Potter and his cronies were seated only a few metres away, Potter playing with that bloody snitch he'd nicked the day before. I tried to put him out of my mind. And then I saw Snape wander out of the entrance hall and come to sit beneath the shade of a clump of bushes on the other side of the lake, exam paper still in hand, looking deeply engrossed and entirely minding his own business. I briefly wondered whether I should go over and say 'hi', but I knew that Alice would've frowned on it, and besides, I never got the chance…

"All right, Snivellus?" Potter piped up, getting to his feet. My heart sank. Black had followed suit, and I suddenly switched to high alert: any thoughts of relaxation long gone. The scene reminded me forcibly of a baby seal being enclosed by two sharks. As soon as the words had escaped Potter's mouth, Sev dropped his bag and lunged for his wand, as if he had been expecting attack. But of course Potter was faster; disarming him before he even had the chance to bat an eyelid. He was left defenceless. People were watching; a crowd congregating to see the show. Potter and Black were clearly enjoying it. They make me _sick_. They didn't even try to pretend that they weren't tormenting him purely for delight in the attention, and for the sake of relief to their own boredom. I was disgusted. "_Impedimenta!" _Potter shouted, and Sev was forced back to the ground in his attempts to retrieve his wand. I was caught somewhere between anger and fear: not knowing whether my interference would only make the situation worse.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Potter grinned.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Black said viciously. "There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

My heart began to hammer against my ribs and my stomach gave a furious lurch. How dare they do this to him? He'd done _nothing _to provoke them; he'd never done _anything _to them. Okay, everyone knew that there was a feud between Potter and Snape, that Sev had some kind of vendetta against him. But for Black and Potter go to the extent of public humiliation, when Sev was always content to simply keep his hatred to himself? Sev tried to threaten them: not that he was really in a position to do so. Couldn't he have realised that it was just bound to make things worse for him? I mean he _is_ good at Defence against the Dark Arts, but with two on one the odds were against him. Sirius spoke, more quietly this time so that I didn't manage to catch it. Severus clearly did hear, and let out a string of mixed hexes and swear words, none of the hexes having any effect with his wand lying useless ten feet away.

"Was out your mouth," Potter said with a look of deepest dislike. "_Scourgify!"_ Immediately, soap suds were streaming from Sev's mouth, gagging him, he was coughing and spluttering—andI couldn't stand it anymore.

"Leave him ALONE!"

I observed as Potter's hand flew straight to his hair. Did he not realise how pathetic that was?

"All right, Evans?" he tried to say nonchalantly. I completely ignored how his tone had changed dramatically to become much more pleasant: the niceties were not to be observed.

"Leave him alone," I repeated. "What's he done to you?" This was a question I had wanted an answer to since third year. And the one that I received was _not _satisfactory.

"Well," he began. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…" he replied with a grin, which widened with glee when the people around him started laughing appreciatively.

"You think you're funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him _alone._" It was my final warning.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," Potter said at once. "Go on…go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." The_ nerve_ of him. It was as if something snapped inside of me and I didn't care how much I hurt him anymore.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly. _Prongs?_ What the hell is 'Prongs'? In that instant, Snape managed to dive for his wand. And in a flash of blinding light, a deep gash appeared on Potter's cheek, splattering his robes with blood. He looked thunderous. Another flash of blinding light later and I saw Snape hanging upside down with his robes falling down over his head, revealing his greying underwear to the ever growing mob of students. Blind rage took me; why the hell hadn't Potter listened to me when I told him to back off? How could anyone be so heartless? My temper was rising further by the minute…it was nearing boiling point…

"Let him down!" I yelled furiously.

"Certainly," Potter responded casually, and with a flick of the wand Sev landed in a heap on the floor. He made a grab for his own wand and tried to round on his attackers, but;

"_Petrificus Totalus!"_ Black's spell had him keeled over once again, rigid as a board. That was when I lost it. I could've just killed them both then and there.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I bellowed, whipping my wand out of my robes' pocket. It gave me immense pleasure to see Black and Potter retreat slightly; obviously my minor hexes last year had had the desired effect. Potter eyed my wand warily, saying;

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." As if he _could. _His audacity did not offend me in the slightest; it only spurred me on, giving me more reason to take the arrogant tosser down. But after a moment's deliberation I decided instead to capitalise on his hesitation to persuade him to leave Sev alone …Now I wish I hadn't bothered.

"Take the curse off him, then!" I instructed Potter.

Thankfully, he obliged, saying nastily to Sev as he struggled to his feet, "There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus--"

And then, to my utter horror;

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her," Snape spat. I froze, fury gone and my expression wiped blank as my mind went into freefall. The word "Mudblood" seemed to emanate from every part of me, I heard it reiterated over and over again inside my mind, the harsh reality settling in further with each repetition. I felt like bursting into tears right then and there. But I wasn't going to lose face…I wouldn't let anyone know. So, instead;

"Fine," I said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

Potter's expression mirrored the shock I was feeling. He looked appalled. "Apologise to Evans!" he roared at Snape, pointing a wand to him once again. And just for a moment, I wondered whether he really did care about me. Just for a moment, I felt protected by him. But then I remembered who he was and what he'd just done to the pathetic boy standing right in front of us, and I felt nothing but frustration and humiliation. How dare he act so righteous now, when he had bullied my friend right before our very eyes, mere moments ago? He was just as bad as Snape! Worse! I told him so, trying to convey my deepest loathing in every way possible, and I watched as the blood drained from his face in horror. And yet I was far beyond caring.

"What?" he yelped, "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair, because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick," I said brutally, "showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing people who annoy you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

I turned on my heel and stormed off, pushing through the crowd in a hurry before anyone could catch a glimpse of how distraught I really was. I ran to my dorm, and cried…and cried…and cried. I wouldn't let anyone near me. '_How did this happen?'_ was the question I asked myself, time and time again. "_Filthy little Mudblood…I don't need help from a Mudblood….filthy little Mudbloods like _her_…" _Those were the words that haunted me for days on end, and either awake or asleep, I heard them.

Later on that night he came to the portrait of the Fat Lady and tried to apologise.

"I'm not interested," I told him bluntly.

"I'm sorry!_" _

"Save your breath," I said coldly. Did he think he could just take back what he had said? He acted as if all the fuss was just about that one little word, when we both knew it wasn't the word itself but what it meant for him to have said it. I'd seen it coming. He had changed, he'd become influenced by his other "friends". I'd heard him on occasion; I'd heard him use the same unforgivable name for other muggleborns when he was speaking to Avery and Mulciber, at times when he didn't think I was listening. He was like a completely different person when he was with me; but gradually that version of Sev had been phased out by the one who had accidentally "slipped out" the word 'Mudblood' by mistake, one horrific summer's day. And I know that it was because Potter had taken it one step too far; finally pushing him away from me for good.

--

I dated three guys this year, Potter dated twelve different girls. What happened between us at the Lake clearly didn't succeed to discourage him; it only seemed to spur him on. He asked me out three hundred and fifty-one times. An all time record, according to Alice's faithful tally chart. It doesn't bode well for him. It makes it all too clear that the girls he's been out with mean nothing to him, considering the fact that he still won't leave me alone. They mean nothing to him, just in the same way that _I_ mean nothing to him. If ever, by dire chance, he managed to win me over (this is _strictly _hypothetical), he wouldn't care about me any more than he does about them. Like I said before, it's just the thrill of the chase. He's obviously lacking a brain cell or too as well, because no boy in his right mind would keep asking a girl out after she'd said what I said to him. This year I had to endure girls talking about how _sexy_ Potter was (yes they did use 'sexy' and 'Potter' in the same sentence, to my great disgust and disbelief). I also had to put up with their jealous comments on how I should just "realise how lucky I am" and "stop denying the obvious". When I tried to point out that he's not even _vaguely_ good looking, they suggested that I should get some glasses as there was obviously something wrong with my eyesight. I suggested that they see a clinical psychiatrist, as they were obviously losing their sanity.

On the Hogwarts Express home, I cornered Remus to ask him for a tiny little favour. We'd become quite close this year, being prefects together, and had it not been for his poor choice of friends I might've seen a lot more of him. I asked him if he would find out Potter's exam results for me when they finally arrived, and to tell me at the start of next year. I then told him that if he let slip to Potter that I had asked him to find out, he would be very, _very_ sorry.

"I won't tell James a thing," he assured me with a slightly amused smile. After a moment's pause he added more seriously, "And I'm sorry for what he and Sirius did to Severus. Clearly Dumbledore placed his faith on the wrong guy."

"What do you mean?" I asked, brow furrowed, trying to swallow down the lump which had risen in my throat.

"Well," he grinned slightly. "I'm pretty sure I made prefect because Dumbledore wanted me to exercise some control over James and Sirius. I'm sorry to say that I failed miserably."

I laughed shakily and gave him a hug, thanking him for his help, when really I was thanking him for much more than that.

When the dreaded results' day finally arrived, I was extremely pleased to find that I got all Outstanding except for Transfiguration. I was really happy about my results and couldn't help but wonder what Potter got. I wish that I would have asked Remus to owl me the results, but I don't have an owl to ask Remus to send me the results. I'll just have to wait until the new school year.

The one blissful advantage I had over him this year was that I was prefect. I docked so many points off of him; I was surprised we still managed to scrape the house cup.

People still think that Potter and I belong together, Alice included. What is _wrong_ with them? Do they not have _eyes_? Can they not see that we simply cannot be in the same _room _together without starting up an argument?

**Conclusion of the year about James Potter:** I _HATE _HIM.

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	6. Sixth Year

**Hey guys!**

**I hope that i updated soon enough, but i have to warn you. My brillian beta-reader couldn't beta for me because of other engaments, so there is a possibility that this chapter is not quite up to your standards. this time, the length is all mine, though :D**

**one other thing, i was told that james was a Chaser. sorry about making him a seeker. i always thought he was a seeker.**

**well i'll leave you to it.**

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**P.S. I am the great J.K. I own everything...yeah right.**

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Sixth Year:

He asked me out two hundred and sixty four times. I rejected him two hundred and sixty four times. This…"thing" has been going on for three years. I expected to never talk to Potter again because of what he did last year, but I found myself forgiving – no that's not the right word- accepting what he did. This year I never actually saw him hex Snape, but I have a feeling that things were still happening under my radar.

There was one thing, however that really, really made me mad.

"Ah Lily," Remus had said on the first day back of school. He looked hesitant and a bit scared. I couldn't figure out why.

"Remus! How were your holidays?" I asked, glad to see him again.

"Great, great," Remus answered absently. I wondered what was going on.

"Remus, is something wrong?"

"Ahm," Remus said looking uncomfortable. "You know how you asked me to tell you James' results?"

"Yes?" I asked, not quite seeing where this was going.

"Well, are you sure you still want to know?" he inquired. The look on his face told me, that he was hoping that I'd changed my mind.

"Yes, I would," I answered starting to get slightly curious.

"Ahm alright," Remus looked crestfallen. "But you can't take any of you anger out on me."

"Sure, sure, but why would I be angry?"

"Because I get the feeling, that James might have beat you in Transfiguration and tied with you in DADA?" Remus said quickly as if to lessen the reaction.

"He WHAT??" I yelled. Remus jumped backwards nearly crashing into a desk.

"He beat you in-"

"I heard you, I heard you," I snapped and waved my hand. I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. In through my nose, out through my mouth. When I opened my eyes again, Remus was very pale.

"What did he get in his other subjects?" I asked, even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the answers.

"Ah he got E's in everything else," Remus winced. He closed this eyes seeming ready for me to explode. Deep Breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth.

"Thank you Remus," I dismissed Remus painfully. He looked glad to be out of the danger zone. Once he was gone I let out a frustrated scream. People turned around to stare at me.

"Sorry," I mumbled feebly, a slight blush creeping up my neck. I sprinted into the Girl's Dorm and threw myself onto my bed, punching my pillow.

"Lily?" a tentative voice asked. I recognized it as Alice's.

"If you want to live," I warned her, "leave now."

I heard the door slam hastily. I could feel the blood pumping through my body. It was so hot, I was sure I was burning from the inside. I could only see red and my stomach was exploding. How the hell had he managed to beat me in O.W.L.S.?? He hadn't studied at all. Never once had I seen him bent over a book, trying to memorize the tiny writing that was scrawled across the page. It seemed to me as if he just casually went into the exam room and aced them. I on the other hand, had studied for hours. Yeah fine, I still did better than him, seeing as I got an O everywhere except in Transfiguration, but the fact that he can beat me without studying…

I lay in bed for another hour, thinking. I have come to the unbelievable conclusion that he might actually have something between his ears. Something called a brain. A brain that actually works. But if that were the fact, why can't he use that stupid brain of his and come to his own conclusion? That I will NEVER go out with him.

I expected him to brag to the whole school how great he had done. Instead he told everyone who mentioned it, to shut up. I don't understand why though. He usually isn't worried about people hearing how great he does in everything. The biggest surprise was, that he didn't even say anything to me about it. He didn't once mention that he beat me in Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall congratulated him on being the only student in our year that passed Transfiguration with an O. He blushed. Yes, the almighty James Potter actually blushed and mumbled something about luck.

Remus and I were still patrolling together. Oddly enough we always ended up talking about James… I mean Potter. Not necessarily about Potter and me together (even though Remus did hint at it every now and again with a know-it-all smirk on his face), but about Potter in general. About how he tried to turn his tea into rum in first year and ended up nearly blowing up the dorm, or about that fact that James has a phobia about spiders. I found this different side of Potter quite interesting. I could actually imagine him in all the scenarios Remus described, and I found myself laughing along.  
Alice claims that that is the start of me falling for Ja…Potter. I just laugh at her. What the hell? Just because she is now in love with Frank she keeps trying to set me up with Potter. At one point she left me at a library table saying that she had a surprise for me. Next thing I know she shoved Potter into the seat opposite from me, and glued us to the chairs. Potter threw Alice a murderous look (which I might add is nearly as scary as mine) and Alice freed us immediately and ran off, seeing as both Potter and I are very fast runners. For the first time Potter and I actually laughed together not at each other. Before we could get too friendly I realized what I was doing, grabbed my books and ran after Alice.

I've had one boyfriend this year. He's had six girlfriends this year. This is getting beyond ridiculous. He was made Quidditch captain this year and we won the Cup again. People are kissing the ground he walks on.

People are already planning the wedding of which they are sure Potter and I are going to have. Not to mention that they are starting to come up with names for the children Potter and I will never conceive. Again: What is wrong with them? People have too much time on their hands, these days.

Conclusion of the year about James Potter: I will NEVER go out with him, I will NEVER get married to him and I will most certainly NEVER, NEVER EVER have children with him, despite what people say.

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	7. Seventh Year

**hey guys!!**

**well here it is, the last chapter. once again i had to compelete it without the help of the lovely crushed-lilyflower so forgive me if there are any mistakes.**

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Seventh Year:

October:

I know I'm writing early, but something's wrong. Seriously wrong!

Potter is HEAD BOY!!

Potter is doing work!

Potter is no longer pulling pranks!

Potter has not had a girlfriend so far

And the two most disturbing things

Potter is being nice and polite to me.

Potter has not asked me out ONCE this year.

I'm just wondering. Who is that guy and what did he do with James Potter?

December:

This is getting really creepy. He still hasn't asked me out yet (not that I care, in fact I'm really quite glad about it, it's just weird). We live in the same dormitory. Our rooms are next to each other (which means he is sure to be having some perverted fantasies), and he has not made a move on me. What is going on here?

He's helping people, being polite to everyone not just me. I saw him the other day in the Library, tutoring some sixth year girl in Transfiguration. The girl was batting her long eyelashes and twirling her long honey blond hair, but instead of flirting back, he just sat there and smiles at her. When he didn't respond, the girl got furious, asking him if he would ask her out.

"I'm very flattered, but no," he had replied solemnly.

"Why not?" she had snapped.

"Because I'm not dating girls at the moment."

The girl scoffed at his answer.

"You always date girls!" she pointed out. Her voice carried through the library and many hopeful onlookers hid behind shelves.

I had to admit that this girl had a good point. I desperately wanted to know the answer to this burning question so I joined the spectators and pressed my ear against the hard wood.

"No actually," James had replied calmly. I was sure he was aware that people were listening to every word he uttered, but he didn't seem to care. There was a moment's pause.

"It's because of that Evans girl, isn't it?" the girl finally hissed. Everyone turned around to look at me, and I could feel a blush rising up my cheeks.

"Even if it was," James said with a slight grin. "It really wouldn't be any of your business."

"What does she have that I don't have?" the girl demanded. Lily felt mortified. She prayed to every God there was that James would not answer that question.

"Look Camilla, you really don't want to embarrass yourself any further."

"Oh and how would I do that?"

"Well," James said slowly. "You might want to know, that about two dozen people are currently listing to this conversation. And if that isn't enough, you know how fast gossip spreads around this school."

Camilla went pale. She spun around and strode out of the library. At the exit she turned around, looked at James, flicked her hair and opened the door. James waited until she was gone. Then without looking around:

"Evans, if you wanted to know, you should have just asked. You didn't have to stand behind a bookshelf and spy on me," with an arrogant grin he stood up and followed Camilla out of the library. I could hear several people snicker into their hands, some outright giggling. They were looking at me, and I was sure my face was about as red as my hair.

"Anyone who retells what happened here will loose ten points from their house," I threatened. Unfortunately this didn't have the effect I hoped it would have. People were not laughing, holding their stomachs, and for some unexplainable reason, I joined them. I had no idea what had been so funny, but I couldn't stop laughing for several minutes. Once I had recovered (I was still hiccupping) I went back to my table and concentrated on my homework.

Another thing that's surprising me is that he's doing _all_ his homework. He used to only do the bare minimum. But this year he's always one of the first people to hand in their homework and always gets the second best marks (me getting the best ones, of course).

Why isn't he asking me out? He doesn't try and crush the captain's hand of the opposing Quidditch team anymore. Does he not like me anymore? He hasn't gotten one detention yet this year. He tries to keep Black out of trouble and is even having some success. I am getting seriously worried. Maybe I should make him go to the hospital wing. Did he give up on me? Like is said before, I don't care, I'm just wondering that's all. Alice doesn't believe me. She say's I've fallen for him. What a load of rubbish!

February:

FINE!! I admit it. Alice was right, I was wrong. I've fallen for him. I don't know when it happened I don't know _how _it happened. I just know that it has. I've been catching myself looking at him in class. Watching him as he does his work, laughing at Sirius' jokes. My heart flutters every time he looks at me. It's pathetic. I try to make him smile, just so that his eyes will light up (tiny little golden specks appear in them if they do). I feel like running my hand through his gorgeous locks (which have grown out even longer and have a slight curl at the end) every time I see him. Oh god. What is wrong with me?? What has happened to my self-control?

I've flirted with him. I didn't even notice until Alice stars giggling. He flirts back, but he still hasn't made a move on me. He's been single all year, even though girls have been throwing themselves at him more than ever. If he just asked me out one more time I would say yes. But I think I'm too late. Why have I been so stupid these past few years? _How _could I have been so stupid these past few years? I'm known to be the smartest witch in my year.

"Lily?" a voice asks. I know that voice. Nearly as well as my own. I slam the **Yearly Conclusions about James Potter** book shut and look up into the hazel eyes that are towering above me.

"Hi James," I say hoping with all my might that he did not see what I was writing (I've taken to calling him by his first name since two weeks into this year. Don't ask me why).

"_Lily, I need to talk to you," James says nervously. His hand is already in his hair._

"_Sure. What about?"_

_"About us," he answers. I stare at him for full ten seconds._

"_About us?" I finally repeat._

" _Lily I've been trying so hard to get you out of my head. Really I have. But it just won't work. I thought that if I tried to be friend only it would stop. But it didn't. I still think about you twenty-four hours a day. This sounds incredibly cheesy I know, but it's true. I've realized that I don't want to stop thinking about you. Every time I see I just want to smile. I've also realized that enough is enough," he pauses here and looks me full in the eye." So I'm going to ask you one last time. Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"_

So here I am packing my trunk for the last time. I'm about to ride the Hogwarts Express for the last time. I'm going to go back to mum and dad's place for a week and then James and I are going to move in together. Both of us are going to train to be Aurors.

I was re-reading this book last night and discovered that I've always fancied James. I was just too stubborn to admit it. I mean I counted how many times he asked me out. In second year I picked up his habit of running his _right _hand through his hair. I always knew who he was going out with and was secretly glad when they broke up. I always told myself I got boyfriends to stop James from asking me out, when really I started dating guys so that James would get jealous (which he did, from what he told me).

So here is my conclusion of the year about James Potter: I love James Potter. Always have and always will.

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	8. Chapter 8

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ:**

**Hey guys!**

I know you haven't hear from me in a while, and i'm sorry that this isn't an update but i just wanted to tell you guys something: I'm probably not going to use this account anymore to publish any more stories. I've got another account now and I've already published one Twilight story on it. Most of my stories on that account will probably be rated M or one rating below that. My penname is **Lyxa** and the name of the story I'm currently writing is call **The Scale**. Both links are on my profile, if you want to check it out.

I might transfer/re-publish some of the stories from this account onto my** Lyxa** account and i MIGHT even continue writing **Even Icy Hearts Melt **on it, although that may be bumped up to an M, too.

i'm really sorry for this, you guys. I just didn't really feel right with this account anymore. i know it sounds really weird and all that.

i just wanted to say thank you for all your amazing support on all my stories. you guys really were the best group of people and it was nice to have such a nice warm welcome into fanfic.

i hope i will be hearing from some of you in my **Lyxa** persona :D if not, that's all good, too.

love you guys all so much

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